Have you ever longed for something for an extended period of time, maybe it was imprinted on your heart since your childhood, which over time you succeeded to attain? But then, as if it all happened in the blink of an eye, you come to realize that you do not long for this reality anymore. You pinch yourself, beat yourself up with the words ‘I always wanted this, I cannot feel any negative emotions about it now’. You almost feel as if you were acting out of pure ingratitude, you feel as if you were in the wrong.
Did you stand there? Wondering how much you have everything you always wanted back in the day, but right now you can perceive the sun set and the way you are in a dream that is not yours anymore. It belongs to the person you used to be, not you.
Somewhat, it feels surreal to come across such thoughts when you are somewhere you have yearned to be for a very long time and have put so much efforts and so much of your soul into making it work, all on your own. It’s as if something, someone had robbed you of your dream. You have the sensation that a thief has taken hold of your heart. A soul-crushing experience it can become because it once used to be that:
someday you wake up,
only to realize that your dreams have become true,
& there’s nothing as such to cheer you up
This kind of emotions lift you up, they make you feel free and you feel as though you’ve blossomed. Whilst on the other hand, when you notice that the dream you are in is lingeringly dying, it is tantamount to destruction. A deconstruction process begins. Therefore, it is often with hardships and grief that such an epiphany arises. And yet, this realization also embodies your growth. Through the experience you were, in the past, so fond of living, you have come to find yet another bit of your soul that used to be concealed by the desires that only were a delusion.
It might seem excruciatingly difficult to find yourself in this position, especially when you are not a crossroads because you are not aware of where your heart belongs and where you shall head to. You are lost and you do not have the means to move far enough to take the big leap you’ve boldly taken before and are willing to take again. It seems harder to let go of this dream when you feel like there is nowhere to go.
Yet, a dream is only a chapter of your life. It is made up of excitement but as soon as you feel entrapped in it, the end of this dream is near. The famous saying urges us to never give up on your dreams, but this doesn’t mean that we are not made of legions of dream, some were made to get intermingled whilst others were made to be separate. As difficult as it may be, be it a result of fear or anything else, to let one dream go peacefully by being grateful for everything that it has brought us — during the making, the living, and the ending — is to honor it. To refuse the end of it and hold on to it through thick and thin, however, is to deny the part of yourself that you’ve just found.
Dreams die and we find our own selves in a more authentical way in new dreams. It is not a rebirth. It merely is getting closer to being and living our very own true selves.
‘If one dream dies, dream another dream. If you get knocked down, get back up and go again.’ — Joel Osteen